You haven’t bought soap or shampoo in 14 months.
Your twitter account flashes “You Have Exceeded Your Hourly Limit” like it’s the 12:00 on your VCR.
Your favorite jam is “Eight hundred Five Eight Eight, Two Three Hundred, Empire Avenue”. (Chicago people laughed)
Your dog has learned to cook his own supper.
When you make a restaurant reservation, you drop in a Team Zen reference for a better table.
You buy a newbie simply because “no one could have made up that name”.
You email your friends daily, asking them to let you know before they join so you can buy them before they jump.
You ordered off Amazon.com and tried to pay with eaves.
You think the K signs at Phillies games are for tracking Cliff Lee’s Klout score.
You don’t have time to read this whole post.
You realized you WOULD sell your own mother, if her activity stalls.
Your last will and testament asks that you be buried next to Chris Pirillo’s desk, with Dubs officiating the ceremony.