It’s never going to end for us.
It happened again last night. Out of nowhere. For no apparent reason. I don’t often watch John Stewart on Comedy Central. Not that I don’t think he’s funny; I just don’t make it a point to watch. On last night’s show, he quoted a finding from the Republican Study Committee, which I guess actually exists, that reported the White House engaging in “Chicago-style shakedown politics”. Which Mr Stewart described as “regular shakedown politics, except just as you’re about to get your money, Steve Bartman screws it up for you”.
Et tu, John? Et tu? Is this what we Cub fans have to look forward to for the rest of our over-optimistic existences? Bartman references about seemingly unrelated entities? I fear the answer to be a resounding “YES!” And the obligatory sneers and derisive snickering.
I was in Pittsburgh over Memorial Day weekend. On Monday, I went to the Cub game at PNC Park. During the game, you can send a text message to the Pirates, and after what I assume to be a careful screening process, they put your messages on the 2 electronic signs along the foul lines. I looked up sometime during the 7th or 8th inning, and guess what I see? “BARTMAN 2003”. At PNC PARK! PIRATE FANS!? PIRATE fans think it’s funny to remind us of that? The Pirates? Who haven’t had a winning season since Bill Clinton was considered wholesome? THESE Pirates? Can it get worse?
Boston used to have the same problem. Anything near your feet, whether you dropped your keys, missed a soccer pass, or accidentally bowled in reverse, elicited a Buckner joke. But The Red Sawx beat the Buckner curse. They won two World Series titles. That tends to shut people up but quick! Then again, it’s easier for Boston. They scare people up there. They have those scary accents. Mess with them? They’ll throw their breakfast beverages in the hahbuh! If you drive to Boston, and you see only one light on in the church tower, keep going; they know you’re there!
I don’t think Chicagoans will get off that easy. Mark my words, even if the Cubs somehow do manage to win a World Series while I can still use the restroom by myself, our detractors, the John Stewarts of the world, will say “Wellll, you’d already have one if that dude hadn’t touched that foul ball”. Even in victory, in ultimate victory, we won’t be able to live this down. I think it’s quite sad, really. Maybe if they win four or five in a row…
And why is Mark Grace a Diamondbacks legend? Just a young franchise, I guess; they gotta pick someone.